You are now in secondary school, insecure and not feeling well. You feel different then the other kids in your class. For 3 years now, you've been living with a diagnosis of fybromyalgia. You already have too many worries, and you feel more responsible than you should be at your age.
You love creating things, and love history and art. You like thinking about life, and how people think. You're looking forward to your life after secondary school, and leaving your home town. You want to see the world. You found a university in another part of the Netherlands, and you're going to move there. You're going to study abroad, and meet people from other countries.
The only thing you're going to miss, is art and creating things. You tried to get into art school, but you lacked life experience. Don't worry, you're only 16, and life experience is something you will gain by age. No question.
You are ambitious, want to try out new things, broaden your
horizons, meet new and open-minded people and learn. New languages, cultures and countries.
The only thing slowing you down from all that, is your health. You have these horrible pains which come and go, or as you call them 'attacks'. They are so bad that you can't stand on your legs, let alone walk. If people ask how you're doing, you answer them with your head, not with your feelings. You're referring to yourself as a penguin, because of your weird walk.
Unfortunately, I know that you're going to have to deal with a lot more life experience than I would wish you would. I know, that the diagnosis when you were 13 years old, was wrong, and that you'll have to wait for nearly a decade until you will get the right one.
I would just like to wish you confidence, patience, and a lot of fun. You are going to follow many of your dreams, meet lots of people, gain new and good friends, who treat you well, and will love travelling and visiting new countries. I want to advise you to enjoy all this fully. You will love it, and will build great memories to look back to. And lastly, don't believe people who tell you, that there is nothing wrong with you, and your body, and that you're imagining the pains in your head. Or that you're too young to have fybromyalgia, or any other chronic disease. Listen to your body, be confident, and enjoy your life in the meantime. Have no regrets, the glass remains half full.
Take care.
Your 12-years-older-me.
I enjoyed reading your personal letter.. hahah! xD Also, we are same age! My birthday is in August btw.
ReplyDeletex Anita